Sometimes there are just certain times in life that are more difficult than others and I feel like I’m in one of those right now. It’s like a season, and I feel like I’m in a really tough winter season. I HATE winter, I hate being cold, I don’t like the big baggy clothes I need to wear to stay warm, I hate how dry my skin gets and having to wear lotion on my hands (I hate wearing lotion on my hands, anywhere else is fine, NOT THE HANDS), blah, blah, blah.
But I know winter is always going to come as long as I live in Indiana and I feel like I’m usually pretty well prepared for it. I put away my cute summer clothes and fun sandals and start pulling out the thick socks and bulky scarves and I prepare for the fact that I’m not going to have a tan for the next few months. Even though I don’t like winter AT ALL, I’m prepared for it because I know it’s going to come and by the time April rolls around I’ve kind of forgotten how cold and dreary it was for those 3 or 4 months of winter because I love summer so much.
But I was so not prepared for this season of life that I’m in right now, I’m not saying that it’s bad, it’s just different and more difficult but I don’t think it’s necessarily bad. I think it’s going to be a time to develop new relationships and try even more new things and hopefully break down some walls I’ve put up.
Scott and I have always had a great core group of friends whether it’s at church, at the gym or through different activities we like to do and it’s been good. But things have changed with so many of those friends, many have started having children which has been great. We want to have children, we’ll try biologically AND we’ll try through adoption and if it’s God’s will, one day we’ll have kids also which is super exciting to think about. But right now we’re kind of the ODD couple. We don’t fit in with the newly married couples anymore and we don’t fit in with the couples who now have kids. Of our close core group of friends we’re the only couple that doesn’t have kids yet. So, things are just different and I wasn’t prepared for how different they would be. And honestly I feel like I’ve let the difference define me and at times it’s made me a not very nice person. I’m sure people around me have thought that I wasn’t happy for them which soooooooooooo was not the case, I just let the difference affect me in a negative way. So I’ve decided to embrace the difference and find others that are in the same season we are because I know we’re not the only ones.